Archives for the 'food humor' tag
Food Fight
Five and a half minutes of utter food-on-food carnage.
Thanks to Rogier for the tip.
Greatest. Nonsense. Food. Rant. Ever.
Danny Katz, columnist with Australia’s The Age, has a suggestion or two for the new Oz PM. Except for the whole bit about getting troops out of Iraq, the rest is utter nonsense — and sheer brilliance.
Snacking in cinemas? BAN IT. All that disgusting Slurpee-suckling and Choc-top-chomping - close your eyes and it’s like listening to the soundtrack from the climactic courtroom orgy scene in Creamer vs Creamer. And those popcorn-eaters: it’s impossible to follow a movie-plot when you’re sitting beside someone with a Jayco-sized popcorn-tub, their arm dipping in and out all the way through the film, digging up every last layer of popcorn sediment like the draghead on a Dutch dredger.
Picnics in parks? Ban it. There is nothing romantic or relaxing about balancing on the nobbles of your knees, perched in a patch of man-eating bindies, while you feast on a resort-style buffet of fetid-fetta, sun-dried-out dips, cracked-up crackers, then afterwards lying down and savouring the delicate aroma of a dozen varieties of market-fresh dog turd.
But above all others, there is one ultimate non-eating venue where people will continue to eat: it incorporates the painfulness of bed-breakfasting, the distractedness of cinema-snacking, and the outdoorness of park-picnicking … and I’m talking about theatrical productions in public parks. Because I went to see Romeo and Juliet in the Botanic Gardens last weekend, and it was a good show; it was a fun night out - but it’s not so easy understanding complex Shakespearean drama while sitting in the dark, on the side of a hill, trying to open a tub of sloppy tzatziki.
Fantastic — even more so when I consider than an actual major newspaper published it. Whole thing here. I’m almost certain he cribbed this from a Best of Craigslist post, but that doesn’t make Katz’s piece any less awesome.
